With Brave Wings She Flies

With brave wings she flies.

Everyone loves a butterfly (well unless you have lepidopterophobia- yes I looked that up!). I think Senna is going to think that butterflies are called ‘Lunas’ as we say ‘hello Luna’ when one comes close to play (we were lucky our twinnies were summer babies as there were so many about!).

It always seems to be the red admirals that are the bravest and get really close. This was a couple of weeks ago. This one came and landed on Senna’s toe while he was asleep. It was big and bright and beautiful. It stayed there for ages and even allowed me to get close enough to take the photo before flying straight back outside. Senna now loves to see the photo and points to his toe and giggles.

When asked what superpower I would choose I always say the ability to fly. The feeling must be so liberating and I love to imagine my baby using the wings she was born with to fly high and enjoy the views and the breeze. Luna’s song, and one of the songs we played at her cremation, was ‘Fly’ by Celine Dion. It was a song I had first heard at the finals of Miss Dance of Great Britain many years ago. It was the winner’s music (I’m sure some of my dancer friends will remember the exact dance and costume!).

Even back then the aged 15 or so I was captivated by the song (and the dance) but now its beautiful lyrics hold so much more meaning for us (even Wade likes it, a Celine Dion song?! Although he would probably not admit that in public- oops!). Some of the lyrics formed part of our goodbye message in the memory book in Pinderfields hospital.

Yes I cry every time I listen to it, but I play it to come back to her, when all I want is my mind to be flooded with her and only her. Her kicks, her smiling scans, her face, her little body, her smell, her little button nose, her abnormally long feet!

The song helps me to remember that she is now free, she will never know pain and she is flying in the sunshine like the butterflies, forever.

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